D'oh!

Latest update!!! I failed physical profiency test! Which I took today. I could have passed, but I wasn't in top physical condition. Looks like it's on to phase 2 then, more money! But, I'm confident that I will pass the next test, which is in 2 weeks time. Judging from my results today, I could have had a pass with incentive if I wasn't feeling unwell. In any case, I'm grateful for the remedial training. I feel stronger now, and it's a good feeling! I just hope that I'll be disciplined enough to keep fit when the training is over.. haha!

Hmm.. I guess since I'm updating, which doesn't happen very often, I'll write about my island getaway last weekend.

Last weekend I went with a bunch of friends to Sisters' Island, which is so called because they are actually a pair of small islands side by side. OK actually there is a legend behind the name also.. but I'm too lazy to type it out now.. besides, I don't know the whole story.

We went to the bigger island, the big sister. A few of us went to scout the island for a camping place while the rest stayed behind at the jetty. The jetty had the words "Sister I" printed at the side. I guess the other island, which is visible from the big sister island, had the words "Sister II" printed on the side of its jetty. After the rest came back from scouting, we proceeded to the camping ground. One of our guys, Soon, knocked a 1.5 litre bottle of water of the bench and it went under the railing and rolled over the edge of the jetty. He thought it was gone, and decided to go off. But I decided to look over to see what had happened to it. Expecting to see it floating in the water, I didn't see anything and was quite puzzled. And then I saw it. It was stuck on the piping along the jetty! So I bent down and put my hand below the railing and took it out. I went over to Soon and showed him the bottle. I think he was quite surprised that I managed to retrieve it without getting wet! I said I had extendable arms like Mr. Fantastic. Of course after the joke I told him the actual story.

So what did we do on the island? Well, we had sandwiches, played volleyball and frisbee, swam in the sea, walked along the coast looking at miniscule marine life (snails mostly), and in the evening we had a barbeque! Jerry, whose father is a wholesaler, followed in his father's footsteps by bringing a lot of everything. In the end, we struggled to finish the food but couldn't. We were like factory workers in a production line, having to meet the quota of food consumed, with a food machine churning out chicken wings every few minutes.. lol. Good thing the monkeys helped us out a bit by taking a pack of instant noodles (we never touched the instant noodles), and a whole loaf of bread. Another half a loaf went to the fishes. Too bad the monkeys didn't recognise their distant relatives, Peter and I. You can read Peter's blog here. -->http://xsavior80.blogspot.com

All in all, an idyllic weekend with nature (darned mosquitoes and ants!), without electricity (yes, no lights at night!) and lots of food! Overdose of food, actually. Jerry, if you're reading this, please consider carefully next time.. haha!

Well, that's all for now, think I'm getting a cough.. d'oh. Until the next update, tata!

RT RT!!!

I had my first remedial training (RT) session on Sunday. For Singaporean guys who have gone through National Service, I'm sure you know what that is! Since this is the internet and everyone from around the world can read this, I guess I should explain a bit.

In Singapore, men who reach the age of 18 are required to go for National Service (NS). That is, to serve in the armed forces for a minimum period of 2 years. They will join either the army, the navy, or the air force. A majority will serve with the army. Everyone who is physically fit is requred to take an Individual Physical Profiency Test (IPPT). This will  determine if service men will go for the extra 1 month of physical training in addition to 2 months of basic military training. During the period of service, the test is usually conducted twice a year. After service men have completed NS (ORD loh! ORD stands for Operationally Ready Date), they are required to take and pass the test at least once a year. But if they fail, well, that's when RT comes in. Given my sedentary nature, and I'm a slacker too, it doesn't really come as a surprise that I failed.

Currently I'm taking RT in Maju Camp, just next to the Singapore Institute of Management (SIM). The physical training instructors (PTI) are friendly, and are willing to answer any questions we may have. They have a rather big gym, and they are currently constructing another gym, which is comparable to California Fitness, according to the PTI. He said that if we want to use it, we can go back again next year. Heavens, I hope not! We didn't get to go into the gym though.

First, we had a briefing that lasted almost 2 hours, including Q & A.  They sure go into the details. RT basically has 2 phases. For the first phase, we have to go for 2 training sessions a week for 4 weeks, one weekday and 1 weekend. That's a total of 8 sessions. On the 8th session, a test will be conducted, if we pass, that's the end of RT! Woo! If not.. well, then it's on to phase 2. That's 2 weekdays and 1 weekend, a total of 12 sessions. And the schedule is 6pm to 10pm on weekdays, and 4pm to 8pm on weekends. You see, that's why most of us wouldn't want to go back again, even if there's a spanking new gym to use.. lol. Well, actually it's not THAT bad, cos though the schedule is written out like that, RT sessions usually end 1 hour earlier. 1 hour is for both in-processing and out-processing, and that leaves 3 hours for training. But seriously, who can train for 3 hours? So, like the PTI said, another 2 hours is for training, and the remaining hour is for us to go home and rest, it's all in the package. Haha! He also said that for those who want to earn some extra money, it's actually quite profitable to go back for extra training. You see, everytime we go back for training, we get some money depending on our ranks. So let's say I get $10 per session. If I complete phase 1, I get $80. And if I fail and go for phase 2, I get another $120. That's a total of $200! What's more, we get incentives depending on the test grade. For Pass With Incentive, we get $100. For Silver, we get $200. And for Gold, a whopping $400! It's so much better than paying for personal training at California Fitness. So it's all down to freedom or money. Or freedom or money and more muscle. The PTI said that after the training, shedding a few inches and kilograms is guaranteed. Clearly he didn't consider the skinny ones like me, who really cannot shed any more inches or kilograms.

After the briefing was over, the PTI had us do some basic warm-up exercises. It was just warm-up, but my body is aching now.  Now you really have an idea of how sedentary I am.. haha! Actually what really got me was the push-ups. Ouch. After that, the PTI showed us demonstrations for some of the static stations and taught us some methods of training. When he asked who failed in sit-ups, I was the only one who put up my hand. Gosh. They say that sit-ups is the easiest to pass, but well, what can I say. I'm sedentary. After that, it was home sweet home! And like the PTI said, the session ended one hour early. And so, I went to McDonald's to reward myself with a strawberry sundae. Mmm.. strawberries..

Anyhow, after some consideration, I have decided to choose freedom. Pass the test of the first phase and get it over with! Freedom! Forever!

Tears of Joy

Sunday was a special day. Specially special for our dear brother Elite! That was the day he proposed to his girlfriend Annie! Woo! And I had a part to play! Other people present were married couple Jason and Cai Fang, Ying Yi and his wife (not sure of her name.. oops.), Kelvin Pang and Michael Cabellero (also married).

This wonderful event took place on the 5th floor of The Oriental, a posh hotel beside Marina Square. Walking up to the entrance of the hotel.. it sure brought back memories. Made me kinda sad too.. but that's another story for another day. Hmm.. I might not even tell it.. hah. The plan was that they would be sitting at one end of the pool, with Jason and Cai Fang, and the restaurant staff would start playing a song and Elite would sing along to it to Annie. Kelvin and Michael were to hide some place and take snapshots of the whole thing unfolding. As for me, I was to pose as some guy swimming around in the pool, and just before the song ended, I had to take the ring from Kelvin, walk over to their table, and ask Annie, "Excuse me miss, I found this ring in the pool. Does it by any chance belong to you?" And then Elite would do his part.

I reached the hotel slightly earlier than 6pm, and I was supposed to meet Kelvin at 6. I found out that he was going to be slightly late, so I decided to go to the changing room to relief myself of some extra weight and swap my underwear with my swimming trunks to get ready. At about 6.15pm, I walked out of the changing room. And to my shock, I met Elite, Annie and Cai Fang outside! I was like "ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygooosh!" Elite looked like he was thinking the same thing. Annie wasn't supposed to know I would be at the hotel too! After looking at each other with stunned expressions for like 3 seconds, I finally asked, "What are you doing here?" And Elite asked Annie, "Hey do you need to go the toilet first?" And Cai Fang was like, "Yeah I need to go, let's go!". And she whisked Annie away into the ladies'. Later on I learnt that she had told Annie that she recommended me the place.. haha! Actually, that's not a bad save, becuse the pool is open to public, anyway. And the view from up there is great! But her suspicions had already been aroused. And she was actually afraid to ask me what I was doing there because..

History repeats itself.

After Annie and Cai Fang had gone into the ladies', Elite and I walked towards the area where they would be setting up their tables. We were laughing because that unfortunate incident reminded us of the time when Elite asked Annie to be his girlfriend. I wasn't around, but I had heard of the story. They were at this restaurant in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and like this wedding proposal, it was supposed to be a surprise. Elite and Annie had already sat down at a table with another couple, and brothers Kong Hong and Ying Yi were crouching down beside the bar, taking secret pictures.. haha. Suddenly, Annie needed to go the restroom, and to get to the restroom, she had to walk past the bar.  So she got up, and as she was walking to the restroom, she saw them crouching down beside the bar, and she was like, "What are you two doing squatting here?". Haha! At a loss for words, they said they were waiting for Elite. Pretty bad excuse, if you ask me, but I was in that situation, I'd be stumped too.  So she pretended she hadn't seen them, and walked on to the restroom. Hahahahahaaha! Of course, in the end it went well, but it wasn't much of a surprise to her by then... haha!

Ok, so at about 7.20pm, I changed into my swimming attire, complete with swimming cap and goggles so Annie wouldn't recognise me. And whaddya know, it worked! So I swam around aimlessly waiting for the song to play. To play safe, I had walked around the back of the gym and the restaurant to enter the pool from the opposite side of where they were sitting. I looked occasionally at a big group of people gathered at the poolside away from the restaurant, but I didn't know what they were there for. Kelvin, on the other side of the pool, started taking pictures of me. Michael was hiding so well, I didn't see him. I waited anxiously for them to play the song. It almost felt like an eternity. Well, almost almost. It wasn't that long a time before they played the song, but at that time, it did feel like a long time. It was a Chinese song. My mandarin wasn't good enough to understand what the singer was singing, but it was definitely a love song. I was supposed to walk up to her just before the song ended, and Elite had told me it was about 4 minutes in length, but I was so nervous, I didn't keep track of the time and ended up getting out of the pool just as the song ended... oops! Nevertheless, I walked up to her, and asked if the ring belonged to her. And then Elite got on his knees and proposed to her. As sure as stereotypes go, Annie started to cry. (Later on Elite said that he cried too, but I guess I didn't notice cos u men usually wanna look macho. I was also not familiar with the idea that men would cry when they proposed.) And of course, she said yes! Ying Yi and his wife came out to offer congratulations, and Kelvin, Michael and Ying Yi's wife started taking pictures. Suddenly I didn't feel cold. The air was warm with love!

After that, we had champagne to celebrate! I got to try some goose liver, called fahgra. Actualy I don't know how it's supposed to be spelt, just that Kelvin pronounced it that way.. haha! Kinda tastes like pudding. And it was yummy! Elite was happily enjoying it, until Kelvin told him that it was actually goose liver. He either didn't like the idea of eating liver, or he didn't think that liver should taste like pudding. So Kelvin, Michael and I were really happy when he passed it to us. What a great night!

Alright, I'm ending off here, you know, this is my longest entry yet. *Pat myself on the back*. Until next time, take care! Hope you enjoyed reading this entry!

I haven't thought of a title

Hi everyone, this is your friendly monkey updating his blog. Gosh, it's already the 2nd of March and I haven't updated on the movie thingy... hmm wait, February only has 28 days, and I watched the movies on the 28th of February.. yeah I guess it's not too bad.

Okaay... so I decided to ask my friend Thomas to go watch the movies with me. He once asked me to go watch The 40 Year Old Virgin with him (free tickets too), so I decided to repay him the favour! I hadn't seen him for quite a while, so it was a good time to catch up on each other's lives too. We're both still single, but if the guy in the above mentioned movie could do it, I don't see why we'd remain bachelors all our natural lives. Actually I'm quite similar to that guy in the movie, I love playing video games and I collect toys and action figures.. umm.. never mind.

Ok so here's a brief review of the 2 movies, Big Mama's House 2 and Date Movie. Both movies are quite similar to each other in some ways, yet vastly different. How so? Well, both movies are comedies, involve oversized women and kids learning how to talk (go figure.. no go watch!), Big Mama's House 2 is about a guy dressing up as a big mama, and Date Movie is sort of like the big mama of all parodies.

And they are very different. Big Mama's House 2 is funny, action packed and will keep you laughing all the way. Good entertainment for the whole family, and also good for teaching family values. I did not watch the prequel, but I was still thoroughly entertained by this movie. And there are some classic moments like Big Mama running along the beach in a swimsuit.. imagine that.  Also, there are some touching moments, and it leaves you thinking about what's really important in life. Highly recommended!

As for Date Movie... well, that kept me laughing all the way too. BUT, if you want to watch it, don't bring your kids along, definitely not entertainment for the whole family. But if you like lame, crass, and maybe even offensive humour, it'll be your cup of tea. And yes, there are some classic moments too, like the Star Wars and The Lord of The Rings spoofs... totally hilarious! It really is like the big mama of all parodies. Lots of spoofs in there, like Kill Bill, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Charlie's Angels, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Hitch and lots more, but I shan't spoil all the fun!

All in all, it was an evening of complete laughter, I'm still laughing now thinking of all the funny moments.. wahahaaa.. ok.. I'm getting over myself. And that's all for today's entry! I shall leave you with a video clip, entitled "How to Enjoy Sushi". Enjoy!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4946101556303618610&q=sushi

Credits go to Google for hosting the video and uh.. some guy on mIRC for posting the link. Actually it is sort of a parody, so don't take it too seriously.

My Butt Is So Big

I got lucky today! Well, but before that, it was kinda draggy. I dragged myself out of bed in the morning, got dressed and went to work.

Anyway, I was listening to Power 98 on the radio. I've been doing that almost everyday at work. Gotta thank my supervisor for that, no music, no life! Ok, so from 2 to 5pm DJ Juliet comes on. She has a sweet voice. Most of them do. So there was this contest going on.

The contest: Send an SMS saying why you think your butt is the biggest.

The prize: A pair of tickets to watch not one, but two movies! Big Mama's House 2, and a movie called... Date Movie? Hmm.

Anyway, she said that it doesn't have to be true, just say why you think your butt is the biggest. I figured that she was looking for big butt jokes rather than actually describing your butt, so I sent in this entry:

My butt is so big that when I go to the beach, I'm the only one who gets a tan.

(Actually, I have to give credit to Weird Al Yankovich. He's a singer who does really funny parodies of other songs. My entry was inspired by a line from I'm Fat, a parody of Michael Jackson's I'm Bad. The line goes: Down at the beach, I'm a lucky man, cos I'm the only one, who gets a tan. Haha.. funny eh. One of my other favourites is Eat It, a parody of Beat It, which also happens to be a Michael Jackson song.)

As you might have guessed by now, I got a call from Juliet herself shortly after.. too cool! That was my first time talking to a DJ on the phone and then later hearing my own voice on the radio.. haha!  I haven't actually called the number that she gave me to confirm my collection of the prize, and I don't even know when the screening is. D'oh.  But right now, there's an issue that's even more pressing: who do I go with?

Only time will tell! Stay tuned! (actually, if you want to go, you can drop me a message in the comments section.   )